After my yoga practice, feeling zen, I warmed my leftover soup and sat in front of my TV to watch the 6pm news, a dated habit from days no longer with us replaced by a 24 hours news cycle. The news was rather sad – more violence, killings, conflicts, and questions with no answers! Being allergic to negativity, I wanted to switch the channel but decided to keep watching.
Pundits talk, give circular and at times contradictory analysis with little context.… Pundits born in the US answering questions about China… Pundits who have never set foot in Egypt telling stories about Egypt. People who have never visited my hometown where I was born tell my story. I’m eager to hear locals tell their own stories about what is happening in their neighbourhoods, but there is less of that and more punditry.
My soup gets cold as my helplessness intensifies. My brain wonders what is happening to my world. Where are all the decent people? The response is more silence. Then I ask myself, what are you doing about it? My response is unsatisfactory more questions – am I so self-absorbed, am I no longer able to see and act beyond myself? I feel better as I give myself a pat on the back for having voted last year guided by my values. It’s a start! I am not fully pleased with this self-assessment, and happily allow myself to get more distracted by the TV.
TV commercials are on, winning my attention, pushing more stuff I don’t need. I, like many of you, have way more stuff than I need. The commercial ends, and more news emerges, political leaders speak, calling each other names, which I have not seen since high school. They are louder and more dogmatic than usual, they describe the world in black and white – bad (them) and good (us). Dogmas are defended in a mindless way, without any respect or serious consideration for the other side. Values such as justice, respect, even basic common decency are not only absent but considered boring and negative! A F-U language seems to draw more appeal, more hip, more excitement than gentle respectful words.
I wonder more and think to myself, “it seems that irrespective of the justice of your cause, if you are weak and helpless, you are F-ed, discounted, ignored, maybe allowed to scream and then renamed an agitator, and maybe even punished more for your agitation. Your cause is no longer the issue, your agitation becomes the issue.” No one seems to care about root causes anymore. The TV spits more sad news and describes a world overflowing with wealth yet the shadow of poverty is spreading faster than ever. Missing is an honest attempt at suggesting solutions, that recognize that we are all in this together, there is no ‘them’ and ‘us’. There is only us!
I finish my soup and now channel surf for something less dramatic, less depressing, and I find a light game show that reduces the heat of the news. I get a txt from a lovely friend asking how my day was and I quickly realize that it is not all bleak. I smile as I recall that my friends are wonderful, they are fair and just, they are generous and caring. None of them would hurt a fly and if I needed them, I know at least a few would be there for me as I would be there for them. In fact, I think I should tell them how great they are right now!
I lean back in my chair as the channel changes from game show to movie. I am now calm and relaxed, secure in the knowledge that the sun will rise again. My brain slows down, my eyelids get heavy and finally, comforted by the image of my beautiful friends, I surrender to a deep sleep dreaming of a better tomorrow, in a better world that is more hopeful for all of us.
Mostafa, PoifectWorld does indeed provide a safe positive space for those who want to live in an optimistic, peaceful and negativity-free world.
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This, I believe, applies to our workplaces too.
Empathy in the Workplace | Ultimately, an organization that makes people its top priority is positioned for success
Excerpt from “Empathy in the Workplace | BI WORLWIDE”
Wagner reminds us that happier employees work harder and outperform unhappy employees and makes the following points to support his argument:
• A company that lacks empathy lacks a sound strategy.
• According to a Harvard Medical School study, the qualities of “bad bosses” are proven to negatively affect employee health over time.
• The aforementioned “bad bosses” and leaders will rationalize their stress-inducing and un-empathetic management style, even though such behaviour is scientifically proven to not improve employee performance or organizational productivity.
• Management through the use of fear works – but in very limited ways. Wagner’s own research concludes that people work harder on “both ends of the intimidation scale than they do in the middle”, but people that work out of enthusiasm will drive better performance than their fear-motivated counterparts.
Ultimately, an organization that makes people its top priority is positioned for success.
A lack of empathy in the workplace can have disastrous consequences on productivity and happiness.
___________
Related issues are communication disconnects resulting from behaviors of un-empathetic managers and supervisors.
Excerpt from “David L. Levin (Author), Don’t Just Talk, Be Heard!”
Avoid communication disconnects at all costs, they can absolutely kill our effectiveness with people.
Disconnects are things we say or do that push colleagues and customers away from us emotionally. They make people less open to us—-make them like us less, trust us less. They’re also a major cause of communication gaps. You could even say the gap is the distance someone has been pushed away by these disconnects. The more disconnects, the larger the gap; the fewer disconnects, the smaller the gap.
The bottom line is that disconnects absolutely kill our effectiveness with our colleagues and clients. Being effective means getting someone to buy into a new initiative, for example, or to take the lead on a project. Or maybe they start following through on their development plan or more freely contributing ideas. Or at a more basic level, maybe someone simply starts showing up on time and doing a good job. Whatever you’re hoping to accomplish with someone, being effective means you’re able to get it done.
Disconnects keep us from doing that.
The main disconnects are:
• I don’t respect you.
• I don’t understand you.
• I don’t care about you.
Think about the time when you felt someone:
• Was only interested in themselves.
• Didn’t respect you or value your opinion.
• Didn’t care about you.
• Was so different from you that they couldn’t possibly understand you.
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My use of double “” in my original post appears to have hidden the narrative that I was speaking to in your post Mostafa.
Here it is again. Should show now. Cheers
Mostafa, you wrote, “I smile as I recall that my friends are wonderful, they are fair and just, they are generous and caring. None of them would hurt a fly and if I needed them, I know at least a few would be there for me as I would be there for them. In fact, I think I should tell them how great they are right now!”
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😀 thank you for making me smile today
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and thank you for your comment Kate, as it made me smile:)
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Your post describes my experience at end of day too: dismay for the disregard of the root causes, for the sensationalism that permeates our media, and wondering where are the decent people.
Thank you, it’s good to know there are others who feel the same way. And who enjoy yoga too!
Geralyne
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Thank you Geralyne… Yes! I enjoy Yoga very much and found it excellent way to stay centred! Namaste 🙏
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Yoga practice is essential!
Namaste to you too Mostafa
geralyne
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You have without a doubt touched many of your readers with this blog. I feel the same as you. Let’s hope humanity can persevere in this case, and realise soon that there’s only an “us”. 🙂
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Thank you Danielle … I think humanity will persevere and prevail as there are more decent people in the world as not …. As the spring comes so intensifies our hope in the human race and its capacity for justice, decency and service for all…
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